I don’t know about you, but I thought it might just be a bit easier to parent when my kids started to get older. You know, because you can reason with them and all that. But when it comes to tweens and teens – you just hear about them distancing themselves from their parents and wanting to be with their friends more as they figure out who they are. Well while they are trying to figure out who they are they are challenging their authority figures (their parents and teachers) and all while smelling like old gym socks (sorry, needed to add just a touch of humor and reality). This is where holding kids accountable comes into play. When they are pushing their boundaries (they better have them!!) what are you doing to maintain those boundaries?
Holding Kids Accountable
I saw time and time again as a volunteer in my son’s school and as a teacher how holding kids accountable made all the difference in the world. When my son was in kindergarten, a kid threw a rock which hit my son in the face (don’t worry, not stitches – just Mama Bear on the Warpath). Well, that same kid ended up going to a friends party that night and having treats (the kid told me the next day when I was volunteering in the classroom). Do you think that kid learned their lesson? Well, I can tell you, he did not! He continued to cause problems in the classroom because he was never held accountable.
When I was teaching, I worked at a school with some very entitled kids. They would demand classes that they were not qualified to take (parents would back up their kids) and when they did poorly (because they were not qualified to be there) it was the teacher’s fault – never the student or the parent.
Why do Kids Just Not Get It?
Just recently, my son ended up with an F in his Honors Geometry class. Why do you ask? Well, he is lazy, lol. He is 14, loves the PS4 and just wants to game every chance he can. He’s a kid – of course studying is not his priority. He is testing his boundaries because that is how he learns! Guess what, he was promptly grounded from ALL electronics! Yep! Boy was he pissed and even pissed at me. When I asked why he said it was because he couldn’t fix his grade for at least a week. You know what my response was, “sucks to be you”! He needed to know that when you don’t do your work, then there are consequences.
Holding kids accountable is the only way to teach them right from wrong and resilience. It isn’t that he didn’t know what he should do, but needed to learn that when we don’t do what we should that there were consequences – that suck!
I challenge you to hold your kids accountable so they don’t turn into entitled little prats! Do the right thing, the hard thing and be their parent! Parenting can simultaneously be the most rewarding and shittiest job that you will ever have.